Being Nice

This book is so deep... Every page I have a myriad of thoughts, things that I can't let go!

So this is after the story of Bluebeard, and the way he charms young girls into marrying him only to kill them later... A lot of talk about naive women hooking up with predators... You see it all the time, same woman and every man they see is the same sort of predator... Sometimes they can come away, do the work and move on to more worthy men, others are still making the same mistakes in their 50's... I have nothing but awe for those women who can break this cycle.. There is often a lot at stake, family, money, home, having to risk it all for freedom is a big gamble...

This part is so true though, as young girls, certainly of my generation, we were taught to be nice, to never ask for anything, and almost to marry the first man who is good to you... As a woman who has dated a varied cross section of men, some were so good to me, but that's definitely not enough for a whole life together... It's a cultural thing... I was never going to be that person, I had too much to do, and I lived through the divorces that ensued after these types of marriages... But I do still struggle to say what I need, whether it's a glass of water at someone's house, or time out from the kids... While we teach our daughters to be submissive, they don't have our permission to reach out and get what they need and want in life...

I have made it a point to both of my kids to ask for what they want, as long as they are polite, it shouldn't matter... And if anyone makes you uncomfortable, after defining all of the key indicators of what uncomfortable is for them, run! It's not rude to protect yourself...

Women Who Run With The Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes